There’s been a lot of posts about the types of Twitter users in the last year or so. Adam Kmiec posted a great cartoon a few months back with the six types of users. As someone who is constantly in the Twitter stream, I see patterns…LOTS of patterns. Annoying patterns, too. It’s almost spam-like. So, beware! Here’s a list of some of the users robots I’ve seen and coming to a tweet stream near you. Disclaimer: This is all in good fun. People probably get annoyed by my tweets, too and my constant use of smiley faces, ALL CAPS, and exclamation points. 🙂 Also, when I say guy I mean everybody. Not hating on the gentlemen out there.
The strategic guy
This guy would give ANYTHING to be Chris Brogan. Or Peter Shankman. Or Ashton Kutcher for that matter. He talks about thought leaders and brands’ digital strategies with their XYZ campaign. He barely talks about anything non-business-like but when he does, he ties it back into marketing, digital, etc. etc. Hey buddy, it’s OK to say LOLz sometimes, too! Or drop an occasional swear word. We want to see your personality – not just the ROI on XYZbrand’s new agenda. Zzzzz.
The “these-thoughts-are-my-own”-guy
I get it. You are trying to say this isn’t related to your employer. But think about the phrase “these thoughts are my own.” Whose thoughts would they be? Are you THAT important you need a ghost tweeter? Nope, didn’t think so.
The five-tweets-too-late guy
Oh, this guy I always feel bad for. They are usually on the newer side of Twitter or don’t use it frequently. A lot of the time if I’m responding to someone’s tweet from hours ago, I’ll preface it by saying something like “Re: Your tweet about __.” But no, not five-tweets-too-late-guy. He’ll reply to you with “chicken” and you have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. Ohhhh you mean that tweet I sent last week about what everyone was having for dinner? Yeah, we’ve moved on…
The reply-to-every-tweet-guy
This guys is similar to five-tweets-too-late guy. He might be a newbie or not follow a lot of people yet. He sees you tweet a lot and replies – to every single one. While it’s nice he’s getting in on the conversation, it’s so not necessary, and not to mention annoying. Twitter is not a one-on-one convo. That’s what e-mail, DMing, instant messaging, etc. is for. Silly reply-to-every-tweet-guy.
The PRSarahEvans wannabe
Sarah Evans has made a nice little name for herself over the past couple of years. She’s started her own business and does great things in the social space. Everyone (at least in the PR/communications world) knows who she is. And ever since she’s been in a bit of a spotlight, many have tried to copy. They try to start their own chats similar to #journchat, start their own companies or “innovative social media ideas”, and crowd source their audience with fun questions like “If you could interview anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?” There’s nothing wrong with these things (it’s worked for Sarah), but these copycats need to do their own thing. Even the way they write tweets or post updates to their blogs or Facebook pages are way too similar. Be your own person. Stop trying so hard.
The entire-stream-of-my-thought-consciousness-guy aka The Train Wreck
Oh this is by far my favorite. This person CLOGS your feed. One minute they are pissed off about missing their bus, the poor service they just received at the coffee shop, etc. Then the next minute they are quoting Abraham Lincoln. Then RT, RT, link, link, complain again, then ooohhh here’s a Twitpic. And then they ask what they should have for lunch. UGH! I can’t take it yet it’s hard to stop watching. Must. stop. following. but. can’t. look. away.